13 ways to celebrate Halloween if you're afraid of everything

By Audrey Farnsworth
October 03, 2017, 4:49:33 PM EDT

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It’s the same dilemma each Fall: You love Halloween, but you hate being scared. You don’t want to go to a haunted house (a thing you pay to walk around, presumably with your eyes closed, while things jump out at you) or, even worse, a haunted maze (like a haunted house but more confusing because it’s meant to trap you), or worst of all, an escape room (similar to the first two, but now you also have to solve a series of riddles). Why would you pay money to be frightened and solve problems? You’re startled by regular things all year long in normal situations, and everything you experience every day in your life is already a riddle. You certainly don’t need an actor in a zombie outfit jumping out of somewhere to make this worse.

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So what do you do? Well, my fellow wimps, you can go to these places, and safely enjoy being surrounded by Halloween things while not being scared one bit because everything’s stress-free and nothing’s trying to fake-murder you.

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